With Steve Jobs gone, every dog has a bone for Apple’s new CEO

There’s a lot been written about Steve Jobs this week, so no doubt when he dies we’ll see about seven million times more. Which means, instead of the about 3 decent pieces out of 10 squillion published in some form or other so far as he left Apple this week, we’ll have about 10 out of 42 quentagajillion posts. Insert real numbers as required.

Today I got to think some more about a post on the Steve. I hope one day it will be post 10 squillion and one on his resignation. Assuming I ever get it written and commit it to bits and bytes on this here blog.

I got time to think today because I was using a belt sander on my deck. It’s that time of the year – make sure the deck is in good nick for Summer. I am middle class dad and all. As you know there is nothing like a bit of noisy work to help you contemplate and construct ideas which have been bouncing around in your head for a while. After all I can’t hear the stereo over the belt sander without also sharing it with the Suburb. The NEXT Suburb. So discarding stupid thoughts seems like as good a thing to do while the 230 dB or so from my birthday present deafens the neighbours.

I don’t know who Bob Sutton is, but I think he could do with an afternoon with the good old belt sander. (Bob, if you’ve got time, half my deck still needs doing. Seeing as your Twitter account is called “Work Matters”, I assume you’d be well up to come and do some sanding with my trusty Makita sometime.) You see if Bob did do some sanding – or any noisy work, he might’ve taken the time to discard about two thirds of his 2,500 word blogpost on “Apple” after Steve today.

Bob seems to be one of these business coaches. Probably a gun, gets paid 2,500 US Pesos a day to tell you what you already know, flies around the world, publishes books. All the “getting things done” stuff the rest of us forget about. You know the one the CEO says we need to get in to help us move forward and such. Unlike me, Bob probably publishes about 5,000 words a day inspired by whichever story is in the news related to his blog. Being able to quickly colour a template which ordinarily promotes him, his colleagues or most likely one of his books can garner hugh amounts of clicks if you include whatever today’s keyword or talking point is in the headline or leading paragraph.

To save you from reading Bob’s post I have compiled a short summary.

It is essentially Template #754: tips for the Senior Manager. Which could alternately be published as: “Five mistakes your business might make when it is at the top.”

The changes from the Template are in this order:

  • Insert Apple for “Business”
  • Insert Steve Jobs for “Founder who has left at some point”
  • Insert random snippets picked up related to Apple and Steve Jobs in your 25 Management career
  • Change context of Headline to make it look like this is already happening
  • Edit the default “five mistakes” so they appear to be ones Apple might make (Ignore of course recent history telling Bob they are unlikely ever to be made at Cupertino)
  • Speculate
  • Keep Speculating

It was warm and cosy for your brain if you don’t read much about business, I guess. As an application to consult for Apple’s board and new CEO, it’s about 2,200 words too long.

If you really want to read a witty and insightful piece on Steve Jobs and Apple, start with this Playboy article. It’s quite a lengthy piece, so if you want a quick take, Mark Pesce’s short history at the ABC is a good primer. If you want to read about Apple’s economics and how they appear to be going as a business, you’d want to start at Asymco of course

Soon I hope you come back to read what I think about Steve. Maybe once I’ve finished the sanding.

Bob, can you lend me a hand?


2 thoughts on “With Steve Jobs gone, every dog has a bone for Apple’s new CEO

  1. I think it’s great that everyone and his dog gets to have their opinion on everything and anything transcribed to the readable word. Just don’t expect me to read it.

    I have no desire to read Bob’s post. Whatever. Yada yada. Without looking or knowing who he is from a bar of soap, I’m going to guess that the word “guru” appears on his “About me” page.

    Am I right?

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